There’s No Better Way To Start Off Your Week!

So everyone likes to laugh. Over the weekend I came across many jokes that matched my sense of humor. I shared these jokes with numerous friends and most of them shared tears of laughter with me, but some were utterly confused. Regardless, I hope this cumulation of 21 of my favorite jokes brings a little laughter to your week!

 

1. Me: Hey, I got a great knock knock joke, but you have to start it off.

Them: Okay! Knock Knock!

Me: Who’s there?

Them: Confused silence…

 

2. Who ever invented knock knock jokes should get a no bell prize.

Get it? Nobel but really no bell…

 

3. What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forest1

 

4. (A twist on a classic…)

Me: Is your refrigerator running?

Them: Yes.

Me: Good, mine too! I’ll see you at the refrigerator race tomorrow!

 

5. What is brown and sticky?

Go for something obvious here…

A stick!

 

6. (My favorite one!)

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer?

“We are both lawyers.”

 

7. Where did Napolean keep his armies?

In his sleevies.

 

8. Two fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and says, “how do you drive this thing?!”

 

9. A magic tractor drives down the road and turns into a field.

 

10. What is red and bad for your teeth?

A brick.

 

11. What is green and has wheels?

Grass, I was kidding about the wheels.

 

12. Walk up to someone.

Me: Pick a number.

Wait for them to pick a number.

Me: Multiply it by 2.

Them: Okay.

Me: Subtract 3.

Them: Okay.

Me: Add 6.

Them: Okay.

Me: Okay, thanks.

Turn and walk away. 

 

13. Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long?

Because then it’d be a foot!

 

14. What’s white and can’t climb trees?

A fridge.

 

15. Why does a chicken coop only have 2 doors?

Because if it had 4, it would be a chicken sedan!

 

16. What do you call a camel with no humps?

Humphrey!

Get it, hump-free…

 

17. What do you call a bagel that can fly?

A plain bagel.

In case you were like me and didn’t get it the first, the play on words is plain being the same word as plane 🙂 

 

18. A man with carrots in his ears walks onto a bus, the bus driver says “Sir, why do you have carrots in your ears?”  The man says “WHAT? I CAN’T HEAR YOU, I HAVE CARROTS IN MY EARS!”

 

19. What did Batman say to Robin before he got into the car?

Get into the car.

 

20. What is red and smells like blue paint?

Red paint.

 

21. Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get soap in your mouth. Then is just becomes a soap opera.

 

🙂

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: