When it came to choosing a college, the reality of leaving my best friend that I’d know for 10 years didn’t quite hit us both until our first semester began freshmen year…in different states. We had pretty much been glued to the hip since we met in elementary and rarely had time apart due to doing much of the same activities including sports, and especially running (both of our passions), going to the same schools k-12th, and attending the same church. However, when it came to our future, we both wanted very different things. We both looked to continue running after high school, however she was a phenomenal runner and was looking to run in D1 schools, while I was looking for much smaller schools to run and continue doing what I loved. I wanted to go out of state to be far from home, whereas she wanted to stay close enough so that she could come home on weekends. She was looking into studying in the medical field, while I was looking into nutrition (as well as psychology at the time).
All and all, we both knew that these differences would end up putting us in different colleges. Don’t get me wrong, I am not by any means saying this is a bad thing. Every friendship, and really almost any relationship, needs to break apart at some point so that there’s more opportunity for change to take place in one’s life. We were both ready to face our new adventures alone, and both equally excited about each others’ journey.
When late August came, we both headed off to our cross country preseasons. I am not one to get home sick or I guess friend sick in this case, so it really didn’t hit me quite so much as it did her, although it didn’t fortunately hit her immediately. It was about almost mid September when she called me and said how much she missed me and being home and how much she needed a break from school already. I felt terrible for not even being as effected because I was so caught up having fun with my team and busy with school that I hadn’t thought about it much. Of course I missed her, it was just was something I was able to deal with knowing I’d see her over Thanksgiving break. We’ve always been the type of people who can literally not see/talk to each other for an extended period of time, but when we’re together it’s like nothing has changed. I think the difference in this situation was that there was ‘change’ involved.
So I realized at that point just how important it was that we stay in touch when we’re this far apart. We’ve never been big texters, phone talkers (although we’ll normally talk on the phone versus text), and we’ve never skyped. To be quite honest, there really is little room to skype due to us both being in sports and trying to balance our classes and having completely different schedules. After her 1st phone call, we both talked here and there to keep up with each others lives. I only went home for Thanksgiving break, Christmas break, and spring break last year (as I will do again this year) and yet our friendship has stayed exactly the same.
I shared this hoping those of you who have best friend situations such as I do, or are likely to face a similar best friend situation, it’s very possible to get through it. If you are different than my best friend and I, and need to communicate more, you’ll find ways to make it happen. Staying in tune with what’s happening in each others’ lives is key if you’re worried. Some of you are probably like my friend and I and really aren’t worried about being apart, but you may discover it’s still important to be there for each other in the best way possible, especially if your friend is one to get homesick.